Late

Jun 22

Vocabulary

My vocabulary is terrible. I keep having thoughts I want to write down but I have trouble finding the words to express myself properly and, more importantly, eloquently. When I try to type out my thoughts, it always ends up being a horrible, soupy mess of kindergartener words.

I’ve been reading Cormac McCarthy and Kurt Vonnegut lately, and they’re both excellent wordsmiths. More than a handful of times, their word choice has tripped me up and left me thinking what the heck does that mean and I’ve had to look it up in the dictionary (aka Google it) and the word ends up being perfect for the context. I need to up my language to their level.

Maybe I’ll eat a dictionary for breakfast tomorrow. I hear that works.

Dec 20

I was sitting on the toilet today when I thought I came up with a great idea for a movie: The MMA heavyweight champion of the world gets convicted of first-degree murder and is sentenced to life in prison. Meanwhile on the outside, a new contender arises and dominates the competition, and he’s crowned the new heavyweight champion. But everybody wonders: who’s really the champion, the young contender or the man incarcerated? The young contender puts these questions to rest by committing a felony of his own for the sole purpose of facing the old champion in prison in a no-holds-barred bare-knuckle brawl. It turns out my idea is just a half-baked combination of Undisputed, Prison Break and possibly a few Rocky’s.

Dec 9

http://i.imgur.com/SPBtk.gif

Nov 30

I’m back in the lab, working on revelations. Expect new material soon from Peter, not just Pretty P or Cheesy Pete, but the man himself. Just got to put my pen on my paper.

Nov 18

Electrical socket looks so sad when I’m about to plug something into his face. Don’t worry, electrical socket! I’ll pull it out of your face soon! Please provide with me electricity in the meantime.

Nov 7

Daylight Savings Time just ended fifteen minutes ago. This comes as quite a shock to me, because I thought it ended a week ago. For the past week, I’m pretty sure I’ve been going about my days thinking it was an hour earlier than it really was. This is what unemployment is like. I don’t even know what time of day it is anymore.

Nov 5

http://www.wftv.com/news/25642921/detail.html

Florida high school cancels To Kill A Mockingbird school play because it contains the word “nigger.”

…SO STUPID!

Nov 2

Voting

Election Day is today. Hopefully you’ve registered and will go out and vote, or send in your absentee ballot. Everybody should vote. It’s our right and one of the few ways we can influence the direction this country will move towards in the future.

I remember talking to somebody about voting in the presidential general election in 2008. He didn’t like either candidate, so he wasn’t going to vote. I can understand the first part, but not the second. I’m not a fan of either party. I wish we had like six main political parties rather than two. Voting always feels like choosing the lesser of two evils. But even if both viable options are terrible, thankfully we’re guaranteed to right to choose the lesser evil, and we should.

I drove with Grady up to Washington DC on Saturday for the Rally to Restore Sanity/Fear. The National Mall was crazy packed; an estimated 250,000 people showed up for the rally. The coordinators and the city either weren’t anticipating such a large turnout, or didn’t have the resources to accommodate so many people, because there weren’t nearly enough screens or speakers for the entire crowd to hear, and there weren’t enough trains running to take people there. I also did not plan the trip very well: due to my irregular sleep habits, I didn’t sleep at all the night before the drive up; I only had a vague sense of what I wanted to do in DC, all of which became impossible because of how many people there were; and I wore very uncomfortable shoes, so when the trains were backed up and we had to walk over an hour to the Mall, my feet were killing me. Despite all of it, it was good fun.

For the first two-thirds of the rally, Grady and I were too far from the front to see or hear anything. It was still pretty cool, there were a lot of funny signs and costumes. I found Waldo at least four times. Some good signs: “WHY AM I HOLDING THIS?” “RELEASE THE KRAKEN!” “KILL THE EXTREMISTS” etc. And since we couldn’t see or hear anything, the crowd entertained themselves in other ways. People would try to climb the trees to see better and we all cheered whenever somebody made it up a tree. A couple people even had vuvuzelas! Still, it would be disappointing if we drove all the way to DC and didn’t see Jon Stewart speak. Luckily, Kid Rock saved the day.

There were musical acts that came on between speakers. One was Kid Rock. As soon as he came on, a whole bunch of people left in disgust, allowing us to move up a considerable amount. Thank you Kid Rock! After we moved up, we were finally able to see and hear the last third of the rally, including Jon Stewarts’ endearing closing remarks.

Since we were in DC, I thought we could visit a museum afterwards. Also, reddit was having an afterparty at a bar, I wanted to check that out. And Natalie is working in DC, so I could see her. But with 250,000 people in DC, it was all a huge clusterfuck. People were everywhere. Museum lines were impossibly long. Nearby restaurants and bars were at capacity. And everybody was trying to use their cell phone, so nobody could get through. So none of those plans worked out. Luckily we were able to meet up with Grady’s high school friend for dinner before the long drive back.

Oct 24

Buckle is having a sale in its online store and this $69.50 jacket was only $10.45. I wanted it. I put it in my shopping cart, and found out they had a flat $7 shipping fee. So I went back and looked for some other things that I might be interested in. I added a few more things here and there and then I returned to my shopping cart. I was greeted with We’re Sorry, This Item Is No Longer Available. Somebody bought the last jacket! It was already in my online shopping cart! It’s 3 AM, who the hell else is online shopping right now? Why did they take my jacket??

Damn it. Damn it all to hell. Things like this tend to go one of two ways: I could call it sour grapes and decide it looked corny anyway, or I could want it more than ever. I seem to have gone down the latter road. I thought I wanted the jacket before, but now that I can’t have it, the jacket has become the my single most desired tangible object ever. And it was only $10.45! If I see somebody wearing this, I’ll mug them in broad daylight. No no, keep your wallet, keep your watch, I want the jacket.